As I sit up in my living room again at 3am, mulling my day instead of sleeping I decided that it was time I made a proper blog, one where I can just document my musings much like a diary to help clear my mind. The past few night have been spent tossing and turning, playing recent events over and over again in my mind and I’ve come to realise a few things. Sometimes, no matter how painful it may be, you just have to let some things go, things that only cause you grief or misery, there really is no time in your life to be putting up with anything that makes you unhappy.
Last week I heard back from the job I’ve been trying to get for a year now and finally, I was offered it! This time in March I will be packing my bags and heading out to start a new life in Japan! This is another reason why I can’t sleep. I can’t believe I’m finally getting to chance to travel and to do a job I will actually love!
This in itself though is another reason why I decided to cut out things in my life that make me unhappy, it’s not fair that after all this time, other people’s selfish acts are making me unhappy when I should be celebrating!
I was writing all my Christmas cards for my co-workers today and I couldn’t help but cry a little, writing the words ‘I’m going to miss you’ so many times will do that to you. Even though I hate my job, the people I work with have constantly kept me sane and I love them for it, I couldn’t be luckier.
However, the more I think about the people I’m leaving behind the more I start to think about the people out there that are waiting to meet me and neither of us know it yet ^^ I’m waiting to meet them with mucho eagerness hehe
However, however….that also gets me thinking, about how I act around others, how my moods and actions affect them and likewise how theirs affect me. Are people actually aware of their impact on me, sometimes I’m really not sure. I have lost so many friends over my quick temper and need to stick to my pride and principles but it takes two to tango and if they didn’t act in such a disrespective way, would I react at all? That truly is the mystery for I am yet to find that flawless person. Such a silly notion ^^ I know.
My my, my blog posts might turn into proper ramblings at this rate XD but I feel the need for bed looming…or at least climbing under the covers and pretending to sleep. I hope my thoughts give some people an interesting read because , now that they are no longer in my head, I feel a million times better J
Night for now. Em x
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